cacat tanpa hidayah-Mu.

I don't have any idea how to start this.This thing kept wandering in my mind this week.Sorry,frankly it was already there since six or five months ago.I want to change.I felt something whenever I saw Musleem women with jilbab.The feeling of secure.

I never tell anyone about this but a few days ago I told one of my friend about my intention.Just seeking her opinion and advices.

'You better take the chance if you've got the call to do it.Afraid it will not come ever again'

yes,she said that.

and before this I questioned the same thing to other friend.But the answer is not that supportive.

'Just wear it if you want.But I know it won't be long.With our situation and surroundings,I doubt you will stay forever like that'

..I have the intention to do it.but i'm afraid I'm not istiqamah in doing this.Seriously,I don't want that to happen.

pathetic.

so,I got a chance to make a video call via facebook to my former roomate in Kedah Matriculation College (KMK) few minutes ago.They were all gathered up on a bed,grinning and each of them tried their best to be in front.Gosh it was chaotic.We were laughing and make stupid jokes for a while before the line was off.Problems occured.And there you go..I'm completely felt down and all my happiness shattered.

Demi Allah,aku sangat sangat rindu pada mereka.Until I felt like crying seeing those faces just now.

*down to top* Nabilah,Fitrah(roomate),Yana,Togeh(roomate),Aliah(roomate),Munirah(my classmate & also the girl in front of my room)

I feel so lost at times.

I just sat still on sajadah after having my Zuhur prayer on a hectic sunday.It was a quiet evening with no one can be heard walking at the corridor or voices that shouting and laughing as usual.Looking that I had already done my prayer,my roomate turn up the volume of the songs that she was listening.You come to me by Sami Yusof then playing slowly in my room.And suddenly I felt weird.I felt like I had lost something.With all the assignments,classes and busy life I'm living today until sometimes I can barely sleep,I tend to forget about Him.I forgot that I still have Allah to share all my problems.I forgot that He will listen to me whenever I'm tired with what I'm doing.I wanna cry but the tears won't come out.

I want to be in His embrace once again.
I want to feel the feeling of being loved by Him once again.

O Allah,please keep my faith.

redhalah.

tiga bulan mencuba,masih belum dapat melihat rasionalnya keputusan ini yg aku ambil dulu.tuhan.semua ini bukan untuk 5 tahun ini sahaja tapi untuk selama-lamanya.

sabarlah hati,mungkin ada hikmahnya.

don't know don't care.

ok first,my roomate ran away so I need to stay alone for the whole semester.Tomorrow is a holiday but still,I need to go to the classes.Its still early but everybody already going to sleep and I don't feel like to.I'm not in the doing-assignment-mood but I remember one thing.I didn't do my Math's assignment yet and I knew the lecturer will collect the work tomorrow.The LDV's lecturer told us to complete our ISL folder by this week and I'm just sitting here with a blank face and an empty folder.The group work and presentation is getting too much day by day.GREAT.

let's watch Invincible Youth now.

double splendid

finally :))

hehe

maafkan saya,mak dan ayah.

bil internet bulan ni naik-mencanak-dgn-penuh-menggila.

..dan,kenapa tiba-tiba saya rasa bersalah?

-.-"